This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
