in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
