Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize