i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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