Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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