How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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