5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
