Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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