I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
