It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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