i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
