Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
