I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
