I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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