i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
