Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
