i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
