My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
