One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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