so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
