Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
