So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
