I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
