dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize