so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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