Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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