Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
