Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
