What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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