If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She tied me up with her honor cords...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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