We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
