hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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