Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
