Cold hands, warm shart.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize