He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
