I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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