i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
