Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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