we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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