Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
