I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
