dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
