I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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