I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
