fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We left the knife in your bed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize