K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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