Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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