Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
