So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
