i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
