Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I think my moral compass just broke
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
