I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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