So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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