Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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