it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
