just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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