Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Come see our sink grown plant.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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