It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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