Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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