So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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