so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I need moral support for this bender
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
