Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
