yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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