farters have to be the big spoon...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
