Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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